Thursday, September 22, 2011

My rant

I don't wanna be strong anymore all I wanna do is sit in a corner and cry. It's not fair I wanted her with me I wanted to raise her why didn't he let me? I'll never be able to hold her in my arms, kiss her face, or listen to my daughters tell each other secrets. How am I supposed to tell my kids that their sister is gone before they even got to meet her.
I know they say the lord never gives you more than you can handle I just wish he didn't have so much faith in me. This horrible feeling that I have been robbed will pass right. I mean it can't last forever, after all nothing last forever.
I feel drained mentally and physically and it is so hard to put on a happy face and me normal mom for my babies when a piece of me has died but I don't feel it is fair to them to be consumed by these feeling so I will continue to smile and play and when I am alone at night I will cry into my husbands chest for our lost angel.

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