Devastating news

It has been so long since I have last posted anything on here but as of 2 weeks ago our lives have taken a drastic turn.

We are expecting baby number 4 and no this baby was not planned but much wanted. After having 3 kiddos in the hospital we decided this time would be different this time we would deliver with a midwife, no drugs, in a birthing center. At our first appointment the midwife noticed that our dates and the uterus size did not match she said we felt more like 8-9 weeks instead of the 11 we thought so we where sent in for a routine ultrasound to find out our correct date. Several hours later our midwife called to tell me that the baby measured at 9 weeks which gave us the due date of March 13 and she also began to tell me that they had found a rim of fluid around our baby's head and that we needed to see a specialist in Fort Worth. Needless to say I was shocked and worried but figured it was jut a bad sono picture I mean after all I am a mother of 3 healthy babies and I was positive that #4 would be no different.

Today nearly 2 weeks after "The Call" we went to see the specialist in Fort Worth, Dr. Thigpen and had another ultrasound done and this time we have a diagnosis cystic hygroma.

Cystic hygromas are fluid-filled sacs that result from a blockage in the lymphatic system. What causes these blockages could be number of things that are all terrifying including several chromosomal abnormalities but Dr. Thigpen did give us 25% chance that it would go away on its own, that the cause would just be one of the many mysteries of a developing baby.

I return on Monday for a CVS test (chorionic villas sampling) at the appointment they will take a sample of the placenta to run genetic test to see what if anything is wrong with our baby.

I'm so terrified I have barely stopped crying I'm not sure what to do with myself except pray to beg the lord to fix our baby, to make everything ok. We hadn't even told anyone about the baby yet. Now we are telling our family about the baby and the hygroma asking them to pray, pray for strength, pray for understanding, pray for healing. We will get through whatever the lord has in store for us. We have each other, our babies and you guys our family and friends.